Long overdue

So much has been going on in my crazy mental health anorexia driven world and instead of helping myself a tiny bit by writing her and keeping accountable to myself, I've let it all fester and get amplified in my head.  

My world has been turned upside down in terms of what will happen to me treatment wise.  Funding issues, my hesitancy, ambivalence, fear, a very evil person having too much power (and evil in not only my opinion but both my treatment team, friends and family) and basically me not having a clue what to do, whether to 'fight' for treatment that is deemed necessary by most, or whether to give in and just accept life.

I am tired now.  Too tired and exhausted and fed up by all this sh*t.  But tomorrow I will start the thinking and processing...and tomorrow means Friday, not that elusive tomorrow that never comes....