So much for this being a blog where I keep myself accountable and keep a check on things and find some motivation to start recovery and continue with recovery. Words totally fail me. Funding is up in the air so there may be no inpatient admission and no day programme. Everyone has told me that this is pretty much what I need to stand any chance at recovery. So hearing this news yesterday was difficult to say the least. In the past week, I have escalated some so-called 'risky' behaviours in a poor attempt just to cope and manage my life and mood and now am apparent on the cusp of being sectioned. Great. Excellent work LastShot. And no, this doesn't even mean I'd get the ED inpatient/daypatient help, it would be an acute admission to a place I can't go for personal and professional reasons. I am just in turmoil and have absolutely no idea what to do. I've had to agree to not do certain things but am left without any coping skills and no hope and being an utterly miserable bore.
Tomorrow, tomorrow I HAVE to switch my focus. I need to find something to make all this worthwhile. I have to make sure I am not sectioned. I have to do something.....
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